No, I'm not dead. I'm really just extremely busy and haven't been home long enough to write a blog lately. I have spent the last month doing tons of ballroom things. We had Dancing with the Stars (the SUU version), a trip to Vegas and Pahrump to perform and compete, a mid-semester tour around Utah, Arizona, and Nevada, and today we leave for Idaho for the weekend. Our mid-semester tour was fun. Most of our time was spent driving, sitting in theaters, performing, doing workshops, and hanging out, but it was fun. I loved getting to know people on my team better, and I especially loved spending tons of time with Colt. He had to drive his truck, so Marlayna was kind enough to always assign me to his truck so I could be with him. It was exhausting though. We traveled about 2000 miles on the whole trip and performed all over the place.

School and work are crazy as well. I'm busy trying to find time to study for my exit exam so that I can graduate next year from school. I have to take that in April and it is apparently very difficult. It's hard to believe that I'll be graduating next year, it feels like I just got here!

Other than that my life consists of finding time to sleep and eat (both kind of rare) and missing my family. That and some exciting news which is coming later...

On Saturday I started to get a horrible cold. Sunday was spent laying in bed miserable and sleeping until I had to go to work and stay until midnight. It was awful. I just sat on the service counter and did nothing for three hours (no one in Cedar City comes to Lin's on a Sunday night). So yesterday I was even more miserable. I couldn't breathe and I was coughing and basically just felt horrible. Alli had been bugging me about taking this medicine that she said works really well for colds. I'm generally skeptical of medicines and I hate taking them so I told her maybe later and never tried it.

Last night I finally caved. I went to Walmart with Alli and got Zicam. It's like a miracle! You just squirt it in your nose and then all of a sudden you can breathe! I love being able to breathe. It made it possible for me to sleep through the night and it makes it so that I can function during practice. I wish I could make a commercial for Zicam because I would totally rock that commercial. I will use Zicam for all my future colds...I will never go back. It is seriously so amazing.

Alli and Colt-

You both have been asking me to blog all week so here I am blogging.

Alli do you remember that time when we went to Pizza Factory and had to listen to the awkward, annoying little girl scream about how her big sister was pregnant? I remember that too...then we went home and passed out in our beds before going to practice. That would be because we are pretty much the same person. By the way, I think you are stupid and I hate you! Love you best friend, and don't worry, we'll always have synchronized swimming.

Colt, as we speak I'm watching you practice theater arts. I'm so thankful I'm not in that dance. I would probably die...or be dropped on my head. Today you have been a raging volcano of jealousy and hate. Alli and I like it when you aren't a raging volcano...we like it when you are our family like usual. Maybe you should work on that so we don't have to kick you out of the family. That would be pretty tragic. You look tired...I hope Mark lets you stop this dance soon. Oh and I hope your migraine is better. :)

To everyone else reading this I'm sorry. I'll post a real blog later...this was mostly just to keep Alli and Colt happy.

Disclaimer: I know this sounds really emo, but I wrote this with no intention of posting it and Alli told me I had to. Contrary to how this may sound, I'm not bitter. If you don't understand the situation this letter will make no sense, but here it is anyway.

Dear Old Friend,

That night that I was curled up in a ball crying on my bed, I thought my life would never be the same again. I didn't know how I could be happy without my best friend. I thought I would miss you horribly and that I would be lonely all the time.

The truth is, I don't miss you. I don't miss you at all. In fact, I'm glad we aren't friends anymore. Instead of having the shallow, insecure relationship that we constantly shared, my life is now full of joy and I have never been happier. My friends now have a deeper meaning in my life. We are family, not just friends. We can discuss the deepest things as well as just playing around. I would never trade the relationships I have now to get you back in my life.

Someday you will feel that joy as well. Someday you will realize how much more full your life can be. I hope you find all that out soon. I don't want you to waste your life away in this shallow, immature stage that you are in, but that's your life and you gave me, your "best friend", up so that you could live that life. I hope you got what you truly wanted because I know that I got more than I could've ever hoped for. I lost one friend, but gained the best people I could possibly have asked for in my life.

Goodbye old friend. Enjoy the shallow, barren existence that you attempt to fill your life with.

-Karen

No Alli, this is not the post I started...don't worry I will post that one eventually!

But now I would like to post on the magic of Therapy Gel. Not only is it blue, squishy, and sparkly, but it also feels great on your head. Not just any head, but the head that has been fallen on TWICE in one week now. My poor head...it probably wants to know what it did to make me treat it like this.

Colt and Michael tried to save me this time...they collided and I fell between them. Now Colt's jaw is bruised and swollen.

At least I know I have people that love me...

I'm so excited for my brother. Today my family called me and I got to talk to my Mom, Dad, Dan, Matthew, Jenny, and Tiffany on the phone. I would have preferred to be there with them, but that was not an option so I guess this was the next best thing. Anyway...we had this phone call so that Matthew could open his mission call. He is going to the Rio de Janeiro, Brazil mission, and he will be speaking Portuguese! I'm so excited for him!

It's really hard to have a brother on a mission. I missed Dan so much when he was gone, and I know that my feelings for Matthew will be the same. At the same time though, I would never trade the blessings that come from having a member of my family on a mission. I have never felt more strongly a feeling of family unity and being sealed for eternity than when Dan was on his mission. It means that the best Christmas present in the world is getting to talk to Matthew and getting to pray with my whole family, knowing that he is praying with us even though he is thousands of miles away. I'm so grateful for Matthew's example to me, and for the wonderful brother that he is.

I love my family so much. I wish I could be with them more, but I'm so grateful for my knowledge of the gospel and the plan of salvation. I can't wait to be with my family forever. I'm so grateful for temples and that my family is sealed together, that is such a blessing in my life.

So I'm sitting at practice, and I pretty much just want to curl up in a tiny ball and sleep until spring break. Can't I hibernate like a bear?

After battling homesickness all week and struggling with school, I came to practice tonight and hit my head on the concrete floor and then got dropped in a lift. Needless to say, I have a horrible headache.

My whole family is going to be home this weekend without me. I was going to drive home with Colt on Saturday after our performance, but it's supposed to snow this weekend, so I'm stuck here while my whole family spends the whole weekend together. On the bright side, I found out I might be able to go home for three days over Spring Break. That would make me really happy.

I'm looking forward to a long weekend. I'm excited for a conference call with my family on Sunday, and I'm trying to be excited for the Valentine's Day Gala that I'm going to and dancing at. I'm wearing a pretty dress and amazing shoes, so it should be a good evening.

Hopefully the weekend will bring happiness and less homesickness.